defeated purpose

Today in my usual chasing my own tail/knocking down walls/attempting to build Rome, I began to think my success at becoming more disciplined, focused, and calculating in getting more work done faster worked against me.  Where do I get off thinking I'm some sort of robot that can just punch things out like an assembly line?
The air was not right in the studio from the start, but I couldn't stop wrestling with it for some reason. I can joke about it now, but I was in a frustrating place, because I went in there first thing with a must do list of things I expected to finish today, once and for all, no exceptions!  But the paint, paper, glue, canvas, lighting, etc. had a different plan. I'm usually pretty balanced about these things, and when I have a day where stuff just refuses to work right, I put it all down, go off and do something else. But I think I rolled in with the wrong attitude in the first place, and that set the tone for little things to go wrong, left and right, as though something were testing me, saying, "ha- who do you think you are- you can only control so much!".

I think the issue is, that in a need for control, I am a chronic list maker. I frequently make lists, both mental lists and on paper because I want to feel that I am accomplishing things and making progress in my personal life, my creative work, and in business. I am at the point where I get a high when I can check things off, lol. It started out as a great way to get goals on track. Lists of small, doable steps are great for getting things done. But this constructive practice may just be backfiring on me. It's bad, because the more I get done, the more I need to get more done (twisted, right?). I'm like some B movie monster that's consuming cities, growing bigger, only to consume more! The point is not to make a list for the day, then have a cow when you can't check anything off! I gave myself a headache because some paint didn't dry right? What is that?!?!
Dear Me: Let it go- go watch a movie or read a book and go to bed!  Tomorrow is another day!

Wordless Wednesday

Thursday Happiness

Okay, on a routine cruise through the grocery store this afternoon, my eye landed on something intriguing in the produce dept. You don't wanna shop the produce department with me because I'll always find something new and odd to examine and try, lol. In a basket displaying only about 8, were these giant citrus of some sort. Sorta grapefruit-like, with the typical speckled citrus fruit skin, but closer to cantaloupe size.  Upon closer perusal I learned that the yellow green globes were called red pummelos.  I had to have one. But just to lower the risk of wasting my $2.50, I googled the exotic things while I waited in the checkout. Satisfied that they were a safe bet, I went through with it. I brought the over-sized fruit home, sliced it open for a snack, and was pleased to find the description right on.  It was like a sweet, less bitter/acidic version of a grapefruit, and it was very refreshing. I knew I'd gotten my money's worth for another reason, though- that strange piece of fruit turned into gold! Okay, not really. But looking at the newly sliced fruit, I saw a new painting. The first still life I've done in a while, but I'm excited!  Hey, it's the little things for me, cuz they add up ;o). Anyway, the unveiling  will happen soon, hopefully. Once I've found time around the 500 other projects already going, lol.

New Days

With the beginning of a new year, I look forward to clearing out old and making room for new.  It's one of my favorite ways to set the tone for a new year, and an exercise that is less painful and more cathartic than a hard and fast list of resolutions.  This new year's it sort of began involuntarily in my world, as old stuff pooped out on me and had to be replaced (my cell phone for one), and has picked up speed as I've examined different areas of my life and surroundings where tweaks were necessary.  I make it a sort of fluid, organic process, quietly going down a mental "fix, clean, ditch, donate, and/or replace" list.  I look at stuff in my home, work, social, emotional, and spiritual realms, including the people in those areas with a critical eye (considering what's helpful or a positive presence, and what's not so much), make quick, confident decisions and move on.  It feels great, and gets me on track for making my year ahead the best it can be!  The old adage, "out with the old and in with the new" could never ring truer for me, and I'm looking forward to some great new things this year...

A Gift Makes a Gift

My website is undergoing renovation, but folks who stop by can see a few new things, including a short project demo for a piece I recently completed.  A link on the homepage will take you there:  www.reneezanceart.com.

the finished piece

The piece was a little gift I designed and made for my mother, in remembrance of my grandmother.  Nana passed away several years ago, but she loved hummingbirds, and at her funeral, and in encounters since then, my mom has seen real hummingbirds.  She'll go outside or look out of a window and see them sometimes.  I've often told her that Nana was sending her love, and one day the idea came to me to create this ornament as a constant reminder.

The demo shows the steps I used to make the ornament for those curious about my process.  It was a very enjoyable project, and the bonus was that mom loved it.  I invite you to take a look!

A First

my 30 minute centerpiece

I enjoy the holidays.  Now that I'm grown up the main reason is good times with family and friends.  I could kinda take or leave all the trimmings, including the whole gift business, though. It's fun for me to give- I think I'm good at picking stuff out for my loved ones.  But being grilled about what I want and having to act thrilled or surprised makes me a touch uncomfortable (call me crazy).
This year I distractedly threw up some decoration here and there between other tasks just to say I did.  It was nice, and I really enjoyed the family dinners, a party here and there, etc..  But I don't think I've ever been so glad to see all the whozits and whatzits and trappings of the holidays disappear when it was all over!  It probably sounds awful, but I was so ready to be done with the holidays and start fresh!  Yay, new year!  I don't wanna see another ornament or pine needle for, well, at LEAST 11 months.  Lol.  Happy fresh New Year!